Bikie Wars - Guys Just Looking to Belong

I've been watching the channel 10 series Bikie Wars these past couple of weeks and have found it to be enlightening. For those who are unfamiliar with it, here's the general idea. It chronicles the beginning and rise of two motorcycle clubs- the Commancheros and the Banditos. A war breaks out between the two which culminates in a devastating massacre.

What I have found so fascinating, is that it seems to me to have tapped into the greatest unspoken desire of all men. No, I'm not talking about riding Harleys, shooting guns and partying with naked chicks, it is the desire to belong.

The characters join the clubs because they are often loners. Within the clubs they are accepted, they belong and more importantly they are supported- whatever happens the club will be there for them. This is why people in real life end up in gangs, they don't feel like they belong anywhere else.

As humans, we need to belong and be accepted, this is why we organise ourselves into families, groups, associations, communities, nationalities. The importance of these associations are demonstrated in how loyal we can be to them. Just like in bikie wars, when our groups are threatened, people, blokes in particular, are prepared to fight for them.

This is why it is so devastating when people are excluded from these groups, whether it's a family excluding one through divorce, or a company sacking an employee, exclusion from a society has disastrous consequences. The excluded person has lost that support which makes it hard for them to move on, they feel unaccepted which creates feelings of unworthiness, unimportance which effects self esteem. Eventually they start to isolate, they withdraw further within themselves and this is where problems like drug and alcohol abuse, crime and even suicide happen.

Obviously there are times when a persons influence on a family, group or a society is so destructive that exclusion is necessary. However, there are plenty of times when that exclusion is taken too far. This is when people fight back and the consequences are always devastating.

Quite often, in the case of divorce, a war erupts between two parents where children are caught in the middle and used as weapons to hurt the other parent. When parents lose sight on what is best for their children, this has long term damaging effects on children.

If you take nothing else from Bikie Wars, please take away this, we all need to belong. By accepting someone, you are, in the long run, saving their life.

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Co-Parenting Classes To Help Divorced Parents Living In Separate States

In an era where everything moves fast, coping with everyday errands is quite a struggle. If you want training or education, or need to take a court-ordered class on successful parenting skills, you might feel overwhelmed with all the options available. You could comb through lists of local classes in your areas, but often times they will not be in close proximity. Trying to find the right class at the right time to fit in your schedule can be an additional stress. Furthermore, if you are going through a divorce and one parent needs to move to another state, online classes are the way to go.

Institutions that provide online programs are an easy and enjoyable way to learn helpful parenting information on your own terms, and also at your own preferred pace. Online co-parenting programs may also offer individualized attention, and therefore parents like you can have direct connection with the licensed therapists and other parents in your same situation. Online classes make the student in control therefore taking out a lot of the stress of having to hire babysitters and fit a classroom-based class into your schedule.

These courses are especially beneficial to divorced parents or those going through a divorce and are no longer residing together as a family in the same city or state. Choosing the same course online will enable each parent to get the same exact instruction. You can take the exact same class if you are residing in California as you would in Oregon. In this way, you are both on the same page as opposed to going to two different classes that might introduce different parenting techniques and styles. Having the same structure and guidance will help to manage the level of stress during this time.

Often the court will mandate that parents going through a divorce take a co-parenting class. You might have already raised 4 kids together with some in high school and think this is a ridiculous request. However, taking refresher courses of any type can always be mind-opening, and new techniques may be introduced that weren't discussed when your kids were young.

Online parenting classes will teach parents stress management, assertive communication, the importance of boundary and limit setting and how to properly reward and discipline your child. For newly divorced parents, there is an emphasis on making a co-parenting plan. The challenges of co-parenting and the need for teamwork is focused on in order to establish a strong parenting relationship in this new situation.

Having one parent move out-of-state after a divorce can be a very stressful situation for the children involved. If you can do anything at all to help ease the anxiety of this new living arrangement, it would be to be on the same page as to how you are going to parent your children going forward. Taking co-parenting skills classes with or without a court-order, will only benefit the family. The children will see that the two of you are doing your best to communicate, agree on things and take care of them and will help alleviate their fears about what the future is going to look and feel like.

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Children And How To Go On After A Divorce - 3 Ways to Help Blend Families

I was a divorced father of one until I met my wife who had three children of her own. I had never entertained the thought of being with someone with more than one child. I was always concerned about my son getting lost in the shuffle of a big family after the difficulties of how to go on after a divorce, but have come to realize that was far from reality. I have watched him over the last year and a half develop strong relationships with his step siblings and step mom, reassuring me I have done the right thing.

Having four children around has made me appreciate family so much more. And now that we have added a fifth to the mix (my wife and I just had a beautiful, healthy boy and couldn't be happier), I see us only getting closer. Each kid has already established a relationship with our newborn, giving our family the final piece to tie us together.

But getting to this big happy family after the struggles of how to go on after a divorce didn't happen overnight. Looking back, there were a lot of activities that we did together that brought us closer together as a family unit. Most of them I didn't even realize the benefits until now

Road Trip: Going on a road trip with the kids can be a blast. Don't tell them were you are going and just surprise them. A consistent theme for us is the ocean because we all enjoy it. Nothing would be worse than dragging one of the children somewhere they completely detested, so having something to appease them all is helpful. The way I see it, nothing brought me closer to some college friends than a road trip, so why not my family? Oh, and because of the size of our family, our road trips usually entailed the second suggestion.

Camping: In my opinion, camping is one of the best ways to spend time with your family. Now that spring is finally here, there are opportunities every weekend to spend some quality time with the children out in the woods. Even if you can't get away for the weekend, camping out in the back yard is just as good for the kids. Set the tent up, start a little fire for marshmallows and smores and enjoy each others time with out the electronic interruptions and distractions just for a little while.

Family Game Night: I wasn't familiar with family game night until my new wife introduced me and my son to it when we first started integrating the family. Every Saturday night that we have all four older children together, we break out a board game and play for a trophy built by hand and sign when we win. We make sure we are all around to take part as it is a family event. We still play games when other children aren't present. We just don't play for the trophy in an attempt to make it special. Our children are 14, 11, 11 and 6, so their ages are perfect for this type of family event.

As my wife and I look back at how things have progressed since we have been a couple, we couldn't be happier in the way my son and her three children have come together and have become one big family unit. There have been difficulties along the way, but having these times together have only made us stronger.

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Learning How To Go On After A Divorce - 3 Ways To Spend Time With The Kids

After going through a divorce, you can look at your situation in two different ways. One, It's the end of everything and you can just give up, leaving behind all the other people that care about you, or two, it is an opportunity to begin with a fresh start and wipe the slate clean. A new chance to be who you are or rediscover that person. The choice you make greatly affects your children.

When someone is left trying to figure out how to go on after a divorce without an understanding of the situation, it doesn't only have the powerful affect on that individual. Anyone around them that care for them can see this suffering, sometimes stressing another relationship that is profoundly needed, precisely now.

This can be even more devastating when children are involved somehow. A parent can't always hide their anger or sadness from the children, putting kids in difficult adult situations. The kids haven't even developed their own personality for handling stressful issues, so we need to take care and not involve them as best as possible.

I have found one of the best ways not to get caught up in the negativity at home is to just get out of there. Spring is here, giving us the opportunity to enjoy the outdoors and find many activities that can enhance our enjoyment of life.

Fishing: Every dad needs to teach there kids how to fish. It 's a rite of passage to bait your own hook and pull your own fish off the line, gaining a sense of independence in life. Granted, I still love feeling needed to get that nasty wiggly worm that won't stop squirming on the hook for them, so I do. It may be trivial, but in my mind, I am letting them know I am there for them. Don't get me wrong. I can't wait for them to say "I can do it myself", but for now, I enjoy feeling needed. At least for now.

Camping: One of the best outdoor activities that get you as close to nature, and your family as much as possible is a favorite of ours. Even if we can't go anywhere, we are lucky enough to have a perfect area in the back yard just enough to feel you are really out in the woods. A tradition of camping all Memorial Day weekend began a couple years ago and should continue this year, taking into account the weather. It's reassuring to know you are doing right when you see the children working and exploring together, entertaining themselves rather than muttering "I'm bored" every 5 minutes.

Hiking: Both my son and I had a difficult time learning how to go on after a divorce. It has affected our relationship, primarily due to the distance between us now, so the time we have with each other is precious. We have a blended family, making alone time difficult, so he and I will go out for an afternoon on our own. Hiking gives us the opportunity to talk as we walk and I was surprised by the level of openness he felt comfortable with when we were on these hikes. We pack a lunch, locate a route and head out. My intentions are to give him an opportunity to discuss family dynamics and concerns with these outings and they have proven the prefect chance for him.

All these activities will not only help you maintain the relationships you already have, but can also build new ones into strong, lasting bonds. As I had mentioned, we have a blended family and all these activities can be used to developed a strong relationship with each child in a unique manner.

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Why Is It So Hard to Date Again After Being Divorced? Some Tips for Men to Make It Easier

It is probably one of the most natural responses to a situation like having to deal with a marriage that did not work out. Feeling like it is hard to date again can be a terrible way to feel, though. A part of you feels like you just want to forget about what happened in your past relationship so that you can do something to move on to the next one. However, you seem to be having a hard time in doing that, and you would love it if you could figure out how to make it seem easier for yourself. That is something that definitely can be achieved, and there are some simple tips that can help to get you to that point where you do feel like you can easily transition back into dating soon after getting divorced.

Most likely, you are dealing with feelings of being disappointed that you ended up where you are right now and you might also be feeling as though you are doomed to repeat things. Well, you really don't have to if you don't want to. One way that you can look at things is to realize that although you had a marriage that did not work out, you now have the opportunity to get things right and start all over again.

Here are some tips that should help you out with dating again after being divorced:

1) You should learn to become comfortable talking about the fact that you did have a marriage that came to an end.

Of course, you don't have to bring this up in a discussion with a woman you have literally just met. However, don't feel like you need to dance around the topic or cover it up. There are plenty of divorces out there, so you really don't have to feel self conscious about the fact that you happened to be involved in one of them.

2) Fight the feeling to want to stay away from the dating scene.

It's not uncommon for a guy to feel like he wants nothing to do with dating for a little while after having to endure a marriage that came to an end, but if you allow yourself to feel like that for too long, you will find that it makes dating hard when you do get back out there. The quicker that you can transition back into being single, the easier it will make dating seem for you.

3) Understand that no matter what, if you know how to attract women, you will be dating again.

It all really comes down to how well you understand what you need to do to attract a woman. If you do have this skill, then you can overcome any feelings of trepidation that you might have and you will be able to find a woman who is attracted to you and wants to date you. It does not matter that you used to be married. All that matters is that you know what it is that women like and you know how to make yourself seem to be the kind of guy that women like.