I've been watching the channel 10 series Bikie Wars these past couple of weeks and have found it to be enlightening. For those who are unfamiliar with it, here's the general idea. It chronicles the beginning and rise of two motorcycle clubs- the Commancheros and the Banditos. A war breaks out between the two which culminates in a devastating massacre.
What I have found so fascinating, is that it seems to me to have tapped into the greatest unspoken desire of all men. No, I'm not talking about riding Harleys, shooting guns and partying with naked chicks, it is the desire to belong.
The characters join the clubs because they are often loners. Within the clubs they are accepted, they belong and more importantly they are supported- whatever happens the club will be there for them. This is why people in real life end up in gangs, they don't feel like they belong anywhere else.
As humans, we need to belong and be accepted, this is why we organise ourselves into families, groups, associations, communities, nationalities. The importance of these associations are demonstrated in how loyal we can be to them. Just like in bikie wars, when our groups are threatened, people, blokes in particular, are prepared to fight for them.
This is why it is so devastating when people are excluded from these groups, whether it's a family excluding one through divorce, or a company sacking an employee, exclusion from a society has disastrous consequences. The excluded person has lost that support which makes it hard for them to move on, they feel unaccepted which creates feelings of unworthiness, unimportance which effects self esteem. Eventually they start to isolate, they withdraw further within themselves and this is where problems like drug and alcohol abuse, crime and even suicide happen.
Obviously there are times when a persons influence on a family, group or a society is so destructive that exclusion is necessary. However, there are plenty of times when that exclusion is taken too far. This is when people fight back and the consequences are always devastating.
Quite often, in the case of divorce, a war erupts between two parents where children are caught in the middle and used as weapons to hurt the other parent. When parents lose sight on what is best for their children, this has long term damaging effects on children.
If you take nothing else from Bikie Wars, please take away this, we all need to belong. By accepting someone, you are, in the long run, saving their life.
This article is brought to you by MATCHMAKING.
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