After going through a divorce, you can look at your situation in two different ways. One, It's the end of everything and you can just give up, leaving behind all the other people that care about you, or two, it is an opportunity to begin with a fresh start and wipe the slate clean. A new chance to be who you are or rediscover that person. The choice you make greatly affects your children.
When someone is left trying to figure out how to go on after a divorce without an understanding of the situation, it doesn't only have the powerful affect on that individual. Anyone around them that care for them can see this suffering, sometimes stressing another relationship that is profoundly needed, precisely now.
This can be even more devastating when children are involved somehow. A parent can't always hide their anger or sadness from the children, putting kids in difficult adult situations. The kids haven't even developed their own personality for handling stressful issues, so we need to take care and not involve them as best as possible.
I have found one of the best ways not to get caught up in the negativity at home is to just get out of there. Spring is here, giving us the opportunity to enjoy the outdoors and find many activities that can enhance our enjoyment of life.
Fishing: Every dad needs to teach there kids how to fish. It 's a rite of passage to bait your own hook and pull your own fish off the line, gaining a sense of independence in life. Granted, I still love feeling needed to get that nasty wiggly worm that won't stop squirming on the hook for them, so I do. It may be trivial, but in my mind, I am letting them know I am there for them. Don't get me wrong. I can't wait for them to say "I can do it myself", but for now, I enjoy feeling needed. At least for now.
Camping: One of the best outdoor activities that get you as close to nature, and your family as much as possible is a favorite of ours. Even if we can't go anywhere, we are lucky enough to have a perfect area in the back yard just enough to feel you are really out in the woods. A tradition of camping all Memorial Day weekend began a couple years ago and should continue this year, taking into account the weather. It's reassuring to know you are doing right when you see the children working and exploring together, entertaining themselves rather than muttering "I'm bored" every 5 minutes.
Hiking: Both my son and I had a difficult time learning how to go on after a divorce. It has affected our relationship, primarily due to the distance between us now, so the time we have with each other is precious. We have a blended family, making alone time difficult, so he and I will go out for an afternoon on our own. Hiking gives us the opportunity to talk as we walk and I was surprised by the level of openness he felt comfortable with when we were on these hikes. We pack a lunch, locate a route and head out. My intentions are to give him an opportunity to discuss family dynamics and concerns with these outings and they have proven the prefect chance for him.
All these activities will not only help you maintain the relationships you already have, but can also build new ones into strong, lasting bonds. As I had mentioned, we have a blended family and all these activities can be used to developed a strong relationship with each child in a unique manner.
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